This is a hard question to pose, even harder to answer. With the way the world is now, social media is everywhere from facebook and twitter to tumblr and snap chat. So how do you, in your relationship keep your relationship safe and untainted from the outside world? It is possible to do this believe it or not. There are many ways to do this and although what works for my husband and I may not work for you, it is still worth a try.
It requires an outrageous amount of trust and patience and understanding. My husband and I are both on twitter and pinterest, I myself have a facebook page. So how do we keep ourselves sane with all the “temptation”? It’s not hard at all. We trust each other. We only have eyes for each other and we make sure the other is happy. We built our relationship on God. We center our world around living with integrity and love. We do what is right when no one is looking and we raise our children to do the same. I can see his twitter any time I want, I just have to ask and vice versa, I have no problem showing him my twitter and facebook. It’s trust. We don’t have the codes to each other’s phones but if I ask what something is, he tells me as I tell him if he were to ask me. We have no secrets. Secrets only lead to unhappiness and hurt. You must draw the line with the opposite sex…set boundaries and don’t allow those lines to be crossed. You must be open with your spouse and leave no room for doubt. Worry leads to doubt, doubt leads to fear, and fear leads the dark side where anger, hate, and suffering rest, awaiting that door to be left open so it can enter and cloud your judgement, mind, and heart.
We haven’t always been this way, we have had our rough patches as well where trust was broken and it was hard to believe that we would ever get back to where we are now. But we did…with a lot of guidance from the Lord and our willingness to not give up on each other. You fix what is broken, the grass in greener where you water it, you don’t walk away when things get rough and sometimes unbearable. Believe me, as a wife of a husband in the public, online or in person, it is hard to not get upset and insecure when I see women whom I think are better looking than I, are following my husband or he follows them back. It’s a struggle. A big struggle, trying not to go back to the place we were at before. And then he chimes in with his cuteness and kills all the doubt and reassures me that I am the only one for him. But it’s still there and I have to trust that he is doing the right thing when I am not around. That’s where the faith and love come into play.
Don’t be “single” when you are with someone. Don’t put your spouse down in the public eye. First, it’s not fair to him/her because they can’t defend themselves. Second, it makes you look like an emotional roller coaster. I am a firm believer in the old saying “don’t air your dirty laundry.” Not to say that I don’t vent to a close friend and ask for advice on how to handle things when I lose my cool…but I am not going to flaunt all my issues on facebook or twitter and make him look like a bad person when he isn’t just because I am mad. Our relationship is important to us. We don’t let outside intruders invade and we are good about going to each other openly with concerns and issues. Communication is everything. It took some time but we have learned to be patient with each other and very understanding. We try not to come at each other like we are accusing the other of something but to each other to express how we feel. We say sorry and we both are hardheaded and we hold our ground; but we both can admit when we are wrong. We know where we stand and that is beside each other. Not me behind him, but beside him where I belong.
Be open to your spouse. Don’t have secrets. Work together as a team. Build each other up so if that moment comes where they do feel insecure, it can be put to rest without the lingering thought that something could be going on. They deserve your best just as you deserve theirs. Love each other. Enjoy each other fully. Most importantly…build your relationship around God and never give up on each other.
Thanks for reading.